Breastfeeding through hypnotherapy – with amazing FREE audio track!

Well, this put a smile on my face! A friend introduced me to a very talented lady, Ruth Olayinka, last week (or thereabouts – baby brain and all that), who specialises in hypnotherapy. Ruth posted on Facebook, asking for some ideas on putting together an audio track for new mums, to help support them on their breastfeeding journey. I, of course, jumped at the opportunity to have my ten pence worth and, today, she sent me the finished piece.

What a breathtakingly beautiful and powerful piece of work! You will come away from this audio track feeling overwhelmingly happy, peaceful, confident and ready to tell the world how kick ass your female body, actually, is.

Having done some natal hypnotherapy, myself, I thought I knew what to expect before listening to this. However, it was very different to the track I listened to throughout my pregnancy and now I’m a little sad, I didn’t meet Ruth sooner.

She just has such a way with creating a powerful and beautiful image in your mind that you feel is your own. I was there. Right there with every stunning scene, and it lifted me up, to a higher place, every step of the way.

The track covers everything a new mum needs to prepare herself, before embarking on her life-changing journey. Mindful feeding, body confidence, the importance of self-care, awareness of your own intelligence, knowledge and instincts, overcoming challenges, feeding in public, following your own schedule and listening to your own body and your own baby.

I think my favourite bit, though, was the part where it deals with the norms of a healthy fourth trimester and going with the instinct to hold your baby, when it feels right for you. I honestly smiled from ear to ear, all the way through. It’s just stunning.

But the best part of all of this, is that it’s 100% free! Dive in, mamas, and share it with everyone you know who passionately wants to succeed with breastfeeding.

You can access it, here.

Enjoy and happy boobin’ 😘

Stop Waiting for Your Milk to “Come In”. It’s Already Here!

Ok Ladies, it’s time we had a little chat about your lovely boobs!

I spend a lot of time frequenting breastfeeding support groups online. I’m also currently training to become a breastfeeding peer supporter and attend breastfeeding groups regularly around my home town. And it’s come to my attention that a lot of hard working milk mamas are getting their nursing bras in a bit of a twist about when their milk will ‘come in’. 

I just need to clear this one thing up with you all, here and now!

From the day your baby is born, YOUR MILK IS HERE! (Actually, technically it’s been there for weeks!)

That lovely juicy, creamy stuff that drops from your breasts, the minute your baby starts sucking, is milk!

Yes ladies, colostrum IS milk. Newborn milk. And it’s some good shit!

Colostrum is low in fat, and high in carbohydrates, protein and anti-bodies, which all work to make your baby super healthy. It’s also very easy to digest, making it the perfect first food for your little angel – Colostrum literally means “first milk”. 

It’s often referred to as “The Good Stuff”. And for good reason! It’s what builds your baby’s immune system from the go, ensuring their little bodies can have a good chance of fighting off anything that might attack it, early on. Something that no breastmilk substitute can replicate!

Following frequent breastfeeding, from the offset and on demand, your milk will slowly start to change, each day. What was once a thick, yellowy substance, will start to become thin and white. And this, I believe is where the confusion comes from. 

Around day 3-4, after your baby has been working hard to let your boobs know he is growing and he is hungry, your awesome milk factories begin to produce more and more milk, increasing in quantity. THIS is known as, your ‘milk coming in’. 

While we’re here, I have another thing I would like you amazing ladies to know. It’s not rare, when a mum is concerned about when her milk will arrive, to see other mums tell her, “Oh, you will know when!” Well, actually, it’s not always so obvious for some mums. 

While many will wake one morning, feeling like someone came in the middle of the night and swapped her body for Pamela Anderson’s, wondering why the bed is so wet, others will hardly notice the change. Sometimes, the milk change is so smooth for a mum that it causes her to pause and question what is happening. Well, mamas, don’t you worry! 

YOUR MILK IS HERE! 

It’s also important to remember, while you are worrying about the quantity of your milk, that your baby’s tummy is seriously tiny! Meaning that in the first days, they are incapable of taking in more than 5-27 ml’s per feed. It’s not until they reach week 1 that their stomach becomes big enough to hold around 45-60ml, so there really isn’t any need to worry about having a huge amount of milk, just yet! 

  

You don’t need to be asking yourself when your milk will turn up because, you guessed it, YOUR MILK IS HERE!

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Patriarchy for Mothers

 

So, I’ve just finished watching that video with Jada Pinkett-Smith and her reply to her daughter’s question, “How hard is it being a wife and a mother?” 

Her response was astounding and admirable. Her voice feels like one of survival, as she reveals the biggest lessons she has learnt as a wife and as a mother and wow, is it emotional?

As a mother myself, who is currently learning just how important it is to remember yourself in this game, I could really relate. And I think I’m not the only one. 

However, one of the most important aspects of this lesson for me, is how this problem that we face as mothers, is one born out of habit within our culture, rather than simply the messages that float around, within in.

It’s interesting she blames “messaging”. I think it can seem that way because we feel so judged for our actions as mothers.

In fact, I believe, it comes from our patriarchal culture.

We come from a country where men were, first and foremost, in control of women. Women were slaves to their own society. They had no rights and were oppressed and taken advantage of and any work they did was largely devalued. 

Much of that still remains today. While women have been given certain “freedoms”, ie. in the workplace, voting, the right to divorce her husband, the right not to be abused by her husband etc… many attitudes still remain as a by-product of those horrible Victorian ways. 

I still don’t believe that the work we do as mothers is valued enough. If a woman chooses to stay home with her children, then she’s seen as having an “easy life”. If she is on benefits, as well, then she really needs to sort her act out and get a job and stop being “lazy”! If a woman decides to work, she is criticised for not being a “full-time mum”. Where are the men in all of this? What part do they play? Who is criticising them for not being a stay-at-home dad or for going out to work? How guilty do they feel about their choices as parents? 

Women have so many burdens, both physical and emotional, to carry as mothers and I don’t believe those burdens are being either valued or shared equally, in partnership. 

So, it’s easy to look at it as a problem with the “messages” we’re sending out but I think that is only a result of a culture that has always heavily criticised and judged a woman’s work and life, and all-around general self. Women can’t seem to win. And women are even turning on each other. 

I would like to see attitudes changed in this culture. I would like to see more women taking what they want and making themselves happy. Standing up for themselves and realising they matter too. They are important. ❤️

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My Letter to MP Andy McDonald Regarding APPG for Infant Feeding and Inequalities

  

I think it’s fair to say that issues surrounding infant feeding are some which are very close to my heart.  

The opportunity to create a group in parliament that can help tackle the issues mother’s face while attempting to breastfeed their babies, has arose. 

However, the wonderful people trying to get this group off the ground are struggling, as our MP’s are currently not aware of how important it is as a public health issue and are therefore not supporting the group in parliament. 

Therefore, I feel it is our duty to help raise this awareness with them and wrote this letter to my own local MP, asking him to represent me in parliament on this issue.

I hope you will find this inspiration to write to your own MP and let them know just how important this is to you.

Has your family suffered as a result of bad advice from your HCP about infant feeding or because you were unable to access good breastfeeding support?

You can be apart of preventing women from experiencing those same problems, in the future.

It doesn’t have to be as detailed as this letter. Simply providing your MP with the details of the APPG and asking them to represent you, will suffice! 

For more information on how to write your letter, please see this link. 

Together, we can make things better for all future mothers who want to reach their breastfeeding goals!

✌🏻️

Dear Andy,

I am writing to you today, as a mother, a breastfeeding peer supporter, in-training, and as a person who cares about the general health and well-being of the people in this country, in the hope that you will represent me on this very important issue.

I am writing to ensure that you will be attending the APPG for Infant Feeding and Inequalities, on Tuesday 19th January 2016.
I’m sure that you are already aware of the immense benefits breastfeeding has on our health:
– Lowered risk of gastroenteritis, respiratory infections, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, Obesity, Type 1 & 2 diabetes and allergies in infants and also cancer in later life, in infants.

– Protection against breast and ovarian cancer, and hip fractures later in life, the longer a mother breastfeeds.

– Recent evidence also suggests a link between prolonged breastfeeding and postmenopausal risk factors for cardiovascular disease (CV) in mothers.

– The World Cancer Research Fund includes breastfeeding as one of 10 recommendations to reduce the risk.

– All of these illnesses, with regard to the mother’s health, represent the greatest threats to women’s health across the ages.

Please see link for an overview of the evidence, including links to the most significant studies: http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/News-and-Research/Research/Breastfeeding-research—An-overview/ 

Aside from this and on a more personal level, I have to point to the humanity and positive mental health aspects of a family receiving sufficient support to breastfeed.

Breastfeeding is something that I learnt about through studying an Early Years course at college, 13 years ago, where infant physical and mental health featured largely throughout. Ever since, I have always known I wanted to do this for my baby, no questions asked. 

However, I soon discovered that it wasn’t as simple as I first thought and not because breastfeeding is difficult but because our local area does not provide sufficient support to any woman who wishes to breastfeed but experiences problems. 

My education on the matter has continued and I am now training to become a Breastfeeding Peer Supporter, so that I may volunteer to support women to achieve their breastfeeding goals. 

However, while peer supporters do help people to overcome some problems breastfeeding, I feel this doesn’t look closely enough at why women experience problems in the first place, nor does it efficiently prevent those problems from ever occurring.

The South Tees Infant Nutrition Team have been a life-line for myself and many others, however, their services are limited and there is no International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) working on that team. An IBCLC is the only person who is qualified to give out advice to the breastfeeding mother, as doing so unqualified can, and commonly does, contribute to the premature end of her breastfeeding journey. I am speaking generally, as, of course, the staff members who have worked for the team for many years, along with the other fully-trained peer supporters, obviously have a fair knowledge of breastfeeding. But support and advice on breastfeeding are two very different things and currently, there is no one person, fully qualified to give breastfeeding advice in the whole of Middlesbrough. So, you can understand why so many mother’s are finding their breastfeeding journey cut short. 

Research suggests a strong association to postnatal depression (PND) and a mother who wanted to breastfeed but couldn’t. Research also suggests a strong link to poor infant mental health and maternal depression. 

I hope you can see why this issue is one of importance in Middlesbrough. I would love to see an improvement to not only the health of our children in this area but to the health of mothers in this area, too. 

I believe that establishing a group, such as the APPG for Infant feeding and Inequalities can help overcome this problem.

Efforts have been made to establish the APPG for Infant Feeding and Inequalities in the UK parliament, recently. However, I was disappointed to discover that despite the group trying to form in November, there wasn’t enough cross-party representation, in particular, from Conservative and Labour MP’s. Unfortunately, this meant the group were actually prohibited from getting off the ground.

However, another opportunity has been formed for MP’s to help this group establish itself successfully, with another short meeting on Tuesday 19th January at 9.30am in W1 of Westminster Hall.

Will you attend this group on my behalf and ensure this group gets off the ground? Will you add your name to join the group?
As I have highlighted, this is an exciting opportunity to get involved in such important discussions and campaigns, which should be considered around the area of infant feeding, and I would be delighted if you, as my MP, could attend and help raise the issue on my behalf.
I look forward to hearing from you, 

Yours Sincerely, 

Lucy Marie Cuzzocrea

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Self-Soothing for the Gentle

I couldn’t possibly think of a better way to teach your child to “self-soothe” than to simply always give them a choice. 

It’s about saying, “How do you want to handle this? Do you need me to hug you or do you want to work this out on your own?”

Maya often falls and hurts herself and I always ask her if she needs a hug or some milk. Sometimes she does, and I welcome her embrace with open arms. Other times, she will tell me, “No”, very confidently and soothe herself.

This gives me great pleasure to see, because it shows me that we don’t need to force our children to “self-sooth”. They will do it themselves when they are good and ready, safe in the knowledge that if they are not up to soothing themselves today, or in that particular moment, their parents/caregivers are right there for them. I couldn’t think of a better way to build their confidence and security! 💗

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A Mother’s Rest

 

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A Poorly Toddler is Never Too Old for Some Skin-to-Skin

Maya is sick today! 😢

After an all night boobin’ session, she woke up with a high temperature, snotty nose and cough. Her cousin had tonsillitis and they’ve spent all last week with eachother so pretty sure that’s what it is. So, I went back to basics, stripped us both off and did some skin-to-skin. 

Skin-to-skin is a really amazing technique. It increases the baby’s oxytocin levels in the body, which acts as a natural pain killer and mood enhancer. It’s also a great way to regulate their temperature so good for fevers!

Maya settled immediately and the boob was right there when she needed a drink. I could feel her temperature dropping and rising on my body, which was pretty amazing! – Just goes to show, they’re never too old for a bit of skin to skin or boob! 14 months old. 

I passed her to daddy for skin to skin to give me a break (toilet, breakfast etc..) She then proceeded to puke all over us both so we took a bath, which conveniently cooled her right down and she actually managed to play for ages. Now back to boobin’ and snoozin’, skin to skin. Thought I would post this for anyone who goes through this in future, it’s worked brilliantly for us and not even used any medicine! Just nature’s best 😉💗💗💗

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Articles

  

Stop Waiting for Your Milk to “Come In”. It’s Already Here!

Patriarchy for Mothers

My Letter to MP Andy McDonald Regarding APPG for Infant Feeding and Inequalities

Self-Soothing for the Gentle

A Mother’s Rest

A Poorly Toddler is Never Too Old for Some Skin-to-Skin

How Formula Avoids the Urgency of Creating Better Breastfeeding Support

Messy Moments

How Not to Mess Up Christmas

What That Article Should Have Said

I Just Got Kicked Out of a Breastfeeding Support Group for Supporting Breastfeeding!

Follow on Human Milk. Why Everyone Needs to Calm Down When Children By reastfeed.

Attachment Parenting is not ‘Just Another Parenting Fad’

Why I Will Always Give My Girl A Choice 

Bed Sharing is NOT Co Sleeping!!

I Have Postnatal Depression and I’m Not Ashamed of It.

Breastfeeding – Friends and Foes

Thirsty for Thirsk!

A Message to the Family and Friends of the Breastfeeding Mum…

There She Goes…

Hello world!

What ‘That Meme’ Should Have Said

I received an interesting response from my last post, about how inappropriate wording can innocently and inadvertently discourage the breastfeeding mum. Formula companies know it but many of us mere mortals, are yet to discover it.

It was my blog’s most controversial subject, to date. Some mums felt hurt and misunderstood that I could even question something that was created to give mums, who are sat at home feeling bad about themselves, a lift! Something that, on the surface, was supportive to those mums who are having or have had a difficult journey, trying to nourish their adored little people. And, of course, on the surface, to some, I looked like a bit of a cruel bastard. 

However, I pushed on. I urged mums to look past their initial judgement and to try and understand, exactly, what I was trying to say. I had some good support from other mums who ‘get it’, in one or two online, breastfeeding support groups. But it was a tough slog. 

The message got through to some but not to others and, oh dear, we almost hit the “Mommy Wars” territory! The very thing the formula companies wanted, by creating the concept in the first place, and feeding it to naive minds and emotionally vulnerable mums.  

Just as I was starting to lose all hope, feeling like my efforts were all for nothing, I read the sentence, “Tube, Bottle or Breast. Turns out, no matter how it’s ingested, breastmilk is best.”

Yes!!! There it is. There it bloody is!

This is why copy writers get paid a lot of money, to come up with those magic one-liners (…or in this case, two!).

Einstein once said, “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it.” 

Maybe that’s true. Maybe, I am still trying to get my head around things that my heart tells me, are wrong. My problem is, I tend to beat around the bush and elaborate, no end, trying to explain things simply. Or maybe, it’s because the subject is so large and complex, even one small blog article, can’t simplify it’s density. 

This one sentence, came along and saved the day! Oh my giddy aunt, did it make me happy. So, I did this.  

How To Talk About Milk

THIS is how ‘that meme’ should have looked!

This, is how to get the message across, to mums who have spent hours pumping/hand expressing their milk, to tube or bottle feed their little darlings, feeling like the biggest failure known to man, because breastfeeding, the most natural thing in the world, didn’t work out for them. 

This is how to say to that mum, “You are still providing your breastmilk and doing a wonderful job. That is what matters!” 

This is how we do not tell a mum, that all that hard work, expressing, getting up every 2-3 hours during the night, to sit in a cold chair and express her milk, is a wasted effort, because it doesn’t matter what you feed your baby, “Fed is best.” 

NO. That is NOT ok. 

Thank you to the lady, who provided this sentence and also to the lady, whose idea it was to make this meme! 

Women like you might often be put down for your efforts, and called horrible, shitty things like, ‘The Brestapo’, but YOU are the reason women succeed with breastfeeding. You go out of your way, in your own free time, to ensure messages like the one in ‘that meme’ are hidden from the hard-working, breastfeeding mum, who knows she is doing everything for a reason! 

Thank you! 💗✌🏻️ #lactivist 

Unicef Baby Friendly Initiative Leaflet

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Follow on Human Milk. Why Everyone Needs to Calm Down When Children Breastfeed.

“OMG! Did you see that woman? She was breastfeeding her kid! He was at least 3!”

Somebody call the police! 

Shock, horror! 

  

Tits. They’re great, aren’t they? Everyone loves them! So much so, they’re put on a huge pedestal and worshipped by all. Women spend billions of pounds, each year, on underwear to make them look pretty, perk them up a bit, give them a bit more bounce, or deceive the men on the town into thinking they’re a cup or two bigger. Men spend a good penny or two to see them unleashed, when they’re having trouble getting a real person to let them have a peak. 

Everyone loves tits!

So, why do we find it so surprising, when our children love them too?

Currently recoiling in horror, at the thought? 

Ah, ok! I see. That’s because you’re still assuming tits are sexual, even where children are involved. 

Let’s get one thing straight. 

BREASTS WERE MADE TO FEED CHILDREN

That is LITERALLY what they are for! 

Oh, and this…

A CHILD IS NOT A TEENAGER!

There’s nothing ‘bitty’ about it. And by giving women a hard time about it, you do nothing but contribute to ruining a great breastfeeding relationship that was not ready to end yet AND you kind of look like a bit of a bully. Sorry! 

Because of people, who don’t know a thing about breastfeeding, giving women who breastfeed until natural-term a bad name, women feel they must force early weaning from the breast. This can cause upset, tears, long, hard nights, feelings of guilt, stress and anxiety!! Doing it because the mother doesn’t want to do it anymore is fine but doing it because society doesn’t think she should, is just messed up.

Here’s a thought, lay off mums who are trying to do the best job they possibly can for their kids, who are giving up all their time and energy, to take care of them and make sure they are meeting their nutritional and emotional needs. 

Want to question this? Fine. Go do some research, read a book, look up attachment theory but DO NOT slag off the breastfeeding mother!

Whether or not a child can be “put on a bottle” or milk can be “just put in a cup” is irrelevant, because guess what, breastfeeding isn’t just about the food. 
Children get great comfort from breastfeeding. It gives them a sense of security, it helps them to feel loved, accepted, cared for and protected. If they fall, they need boob, if they’re sick, they need boob, if they’re having teething or growing pains, yep, they need boob. And as it happens, it’s a great parenting tool. In most cases it stops them crying, almost, instantly! How’s that for reducing parental stress?

Here’s something else I bet you didn’t know. The natural weaning age of humans is 4-7. Our MILK TEETH fall out at around age 7. Coincidence? Not at all. 

In Mongolia, when a mother has breastfed her child until age 7, she is congratulated and expected to have grown a good wrestler. 

So, why do us Westerners stop breastfeeding so early?? 

How do so many others cultures manage to breastfeed for so long?

There are many reasons, really. Lack of breastfeeding support being a big one, but no, it’s largely down to bottle culture. Our consumeristic society has spent many years advertising and pushing products on us that will make them a few quid, and well, wasn’t someone clever when they realised they could *create* a gap in breastfeeding market?

Formula companies have been playing dirty tricks for many years. Word on the grapevine, tells us they used to be so aggressive with their marketing tactics that they would go into hospitals, give out lots of free stuff, set up training sessions, with our health care professionals, and teach them how to get women to formula feed. In order to do so, they had to convince the woman that formula was better or that her milk wouldn’t be good enough. 

This exact thing happened to my mother, when my sisters and I were born. A midwife told her not to bother trying to breastfeed because it wouldn’t be good enough and that was that! Of course, my mother believed her. Why wouldn’t she? Don’t we all trust our doctors, midwives, health visitors and so on? 

The big problem we have today, however, is that this was done for so long that all that bad information is still floating around. It’s been passed down generation, after generation, as absolutely gospel! And trying to convince anyone, otherwise, is very difficult.

So, we live in a society that over-sexualises breasts, where a majority of parents bottle feed their babies milk from a completely different animal, and who can’t separate sexuality from biological purpose. 

If anyone is messed up, it’s the clown who thinks he knows it all, when he decides to shoot down the well-educated, hard working mum, sat breastfeeding her 3 year old.

Give it a rest, put down your derogatory newspaper and go read a book!

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